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HOW TO OVERCOME NEWLYWED STRUGGLES: “WHY CAN’T HE BE LIKE ME”

WHEN THE HONEYMOON ENDS...NEWLYWED LIFE BEGINS So, you said I do, got back from your honeymoon and are all moved into your new home! AND…. Now you realize that he snores, he doesn’t know how to close the pantry door or the cabinets. He doesn’t know how to put the toilet lid down and he can’t see where the dirty clothes basket is. His clothing always makes it ON THE FLOOR, A COUPLE OF INCHES FROM THE BASKET! My friend, I'm here to tell you THERE IS HOPE!

WHEN THE HONEYMOON ENDS…NEWLYWED LIFE BEGINS

So, you said I do, got back from your honeymoon and are all moved into your new home!

AND…. Now you realize that he snores, he doesn’t know how to close the pantry door or the cabinets. He doesn’t know how to put the toilet lid down and he can’t see where the dirty clothes basket is. His clothing always makes it ON THE FLOOR, A COUPLE OF INCHES FROM THE BASKET! My friend, I’m here to tell you THERE IS HOPE!

Personally, I can’t sit, relax and enjoy a nice cup of coffee until my apartment is “spotless”. I have to smell the laundry detergent and can hear the washing machine going (and that’s how you can tell I don’t have kids). In my home, there is a spot for everything, and yes, my closet is organized by “specific clothes categories.” I already know what I’m going to wear to church a week from now and there’s no better planner than good ol’ paper and a pen. You never know when technology is going to “die” and well what would I do without my planner? Dinner Is planned a week in advance and change or anything “not planned” and I aren’t friends.

With that being said, my husband is the complete OPPOSITE! He can wake up at 2 am and say, “Let’s go to IHOP,” “Ummm, that is not scheduled in my planner dear!” His idea of a clean and organized home is not the same as mine. But the good Lord knows best, and he knew what he was doing when he put us together.

I cannot tell you the number of real-life arguments we had at the beginning of our marriage over this: “DO YOU NOT HAVE HANDS TO CLOSE THE CABINET DOOR!” “DO YOU KNOW WHAT DIRTY LAUNDRY MEANS AND WHERE IT GOES?!” or my all-time favorite “DIDIER! (that’s my husband’s first name) DIRTY DISHES GO IN THE SINK! NOT NEXT TO THE SINK!!”

FINDING ANSWERS IN THE BIBLE

I sat in my bathtub one day and talked to myself: Sofia (not Sofie for I was a little upset with myself) “Are there any things that have gotten better in your life since Gio (Didier) came into it? And I made a list in my head:

  1. Bills area paid on time (no matter how organized I was my bills were NEVER paid on time, not for lack of money I just simply would forget.)
  2. My car is not breaking down as often (he enjoys working on cars so much that my oil changes would always be done on time.)

And the list went on and on. I turned to my life manual (The Bible) and found some verses to help me realize that the idea I had of “why can’t you be like me” wasn’t right:

Romans 12:4-5 (KJV)

(4) For we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office:  (5) so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.

James 1:17 (KJV)

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down form the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

My friend this is hope I talked about earlier. The moment we say I do, we become one. There are things that I am good at that my husband is not and vice versa, we all have different talents and God-given gifts, for HIS honor and HIS glory first and second to minister to others. (1st Peter 4:10). I’ve learned to focus on how I can be the best I can for my husband rather than then wasting time and energy focusing on how he can be better for me. And here is how:

  1. Prayer works, talk with God he likes to listen to us.
  2. Spend a few minutes every day contemplating how God shows you grace and ask him to help you show the same grace to others.
  3. Learn to see yourself as a servant and not a “Boss”.
  4. Spend a couple of minutes every day thanking God for the individual gifts He has given your husband and ask God to help him see it as a way to serve others.

I HOPE THIS CAN BE OF HELP!

Ya paso la ceremonia de tu boda, ya regresaste de tu luna de miel y ya estan acomodados en su nuevo hogar!

Y… ya te diste cuenta que ronca, que no save cerrar las puestas, que no save bajar la tapadera del bano y que no save donde va la ropa susia y siempre la deja a un lado de canasta de la ropa susia. Amiga, ahy esperansa!

Yo no me puedo sentar y relajarme mientras me tomo una taza de café asta que mi hogar este limpio y pueda oler el el jabon para lavar y escuchar la labadora (asi es como puedes saver que no tengo hijos!). en mi hogar ahi un lugar para todo, y si, mi ropa esta organizada por “categoria”.  Ya se lo que me voy a poner para ir a la iglesia la proxima semana y tengo una agenda de papel por que no confio en la technologia, una nunca save cuando se le va a descargar el telefono y que aria yo sin mi agenda? La cena de la semana la tengo planeada una semana por adelantada y cambio oh algo no planiado y yo no somos amigos.

Y ya que tu saves eso, mi esposo es completamente OPUESTO a mi! el se puede levanter a las dos de la manana y desir “vamos a comer?” Yo: “eso no esta en mi agenda carino!” y su idea de una casa limpia y organiza no es la misma que la mia. Pero Dios es Bueno, y el savia lo que asia cuando nos junto.

No te puedo desir cuantos pleitos de la vida real hemos tenido por esto: “No tienes manos para cerrar las puertas?” “saves lo que se ignifica ropa susia y donde va?”  o mi favorita “Didier! (asi se llama el) los platos susios van en el lavado no all lado de el!”

Me sente el la ragadera una vez ah tener una Buena converasion con migo misa: Sofia (esta enojado con migo misma) que cosas en tu vida an mejorado desde que Gio entro en tu vida? Y ise una lista en mi Cabeza:

  1. Las cuentas son pagadas ah tiempo. (no importa cuan organizada soy, mis cuentas nunca las pagaba a tiempo antes, no por que no tenia tiempo si no por que se me olvidava)
  2. Mi carro ya no se me queda tanto! (ah el le gusta travajar en carros, y siempre le ase cambio de aseite a mi carro a tiempo y otras cositas que necesita)

Y la lista continuava. Consulte mi manual de vida (mi Biblia) y encontre unos versos que me ayudaron a darme cuenta que tener la idea del “por que no puedes ser como yo?” no estaba bien.

Romanos 12:4-5 (RVR1960)

4 Porque de la manera que en un cuerpo temenos muchos miembros, pero no todos los miembros tienen la misma funcion, 5 asi nosotros, siendo muchos, somos un cuero en Cristo, y todos mienbros los unos de los otros.

Santiago 1:17 (RVR1960)

Toda Buena dadiva y todo don perfecto desciende de lo alto, del Padre de las luces, en el cual no hay mudanza, ni sombra de variacion.

Esta es la esperanza de la cual able. En el momento que desimos acepto el dia de nuesta boda nos convertimos en uno. Hay cosas en las que yo soy buena, y cosas en las que mi esposo es bueno.  Todos temenos diferentes talentos dados por Dios, para SU honra y SU Gloria. (1era de Pedro 4:10). Eh aprendido a enfocarme en como puedo se lo major que pueda para mi esposo en vez de como el puede ser major para mi. aqui esta como:

  1. Ora, la oracion funsiona, abla con Dios ah El le gusta escucharnos.
  2. Pasa unos minutos contemplando como Dios no demuestra su gracia, y pidele que te ayude a demostrale la misma gracia ah otros.
  3. Aprende a verte como un sirviente y no un “Jefe”.
  4. Pasa unos minutos todos los dias agradencienddo a Dios por los regalos que le ah dado a tu esposo individualmente y que tu esposo los pueda ver como una forma de usarlos para servir a otros.

ESPERO ESTO PUEDAR SER DE AYUDA!

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This Post Has 6 Comments
  1. I am fortunate that my husband and I are pretty similar, but after being in a bad relationship for 7 years, I have realized that you can’t change your partner no matter how hard you try. So you accept them for the way they are because well, you married them for a reason!

  2. My husband and I are SO different! And I really didn’t know it until after we were married! LOL marriage is so hard and so much work but obviously so worth it! Differences like these can be resolved as long as you put in the effort!

  3. This is why they say the first year is the hardest! You think you know everything about each other, and soon learn you were so wrong! Haha. It’s so much fun getting to know each other even better, and learning all the little quirks, even when some of them make you want to scream. 🙂

  4. Oh yes, I’ve had these same arguments as well 😩 This blog fills me with such a warm and fuzzy feeling after reading it, and I mean that truly ❤️ You ladies are inspiring me to get back to what truly matters and find a church near our new home.

    1. That is so sweet of you to say! If you need any help finding a good Bible believing church I would love to point you in the direction of a good one. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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